5 good things about today

1. craving a ginger ale all day and then finding a soda machine on the really creepy 2nd floor of schermerhorn

2. finishing my experiment credits for psych

3. telephone dance session i had in my room early this morning

4. talking to bebop even if it was only for a minute. she sounded happy :)

5. listening to agitata da due venti from vivaldi's griselda today in musichum

exchange with a kindergartner in regards to his coloring of a haunted house:

"marcus, that's beautiful!"

"ms. shirley said it was poppin'!"

nyc.

it is so amazing to be back in america. really i mean back in new york. i dont know much about the rest of the country. i've been with my sisters and laughing til my stomach hurts. we took the boat to fire island and i got to smell the beach and get really big hair from ocean spray and i got a tan! i have an apartment in manhattan and i am paying bills and i think it's really fun in weird way. everything here feels new and 1000x better than i remembered. 

packing.

packing is kind of fun when you don't leave it to the very last second. i am so incredibly organized! i printed out a itinerary for the massively fun european adventure me and paula are embarking on in 10 days and i've already printed out all of our ticketing info. i nearly killed a tree doing it, but it looks so fancy in its plastic sleeve! i feel like a grown up :).

2 weeks to go

i have used the word 'booboo' alarmingly frequently this week. mike is missing a sizable portion of his knee and whenever i am tending to it i call it that and afterward i always feel icky. i'm 21 and he is an 8 year old boy. neither of us are really at an age where calling an injury a 'booboo' is in anyway appropriate.  

i wonder if after this year i will ever be able to speak english properly again. 

cranky.

the housekeeper has been completely evil to me lately. i just don't understand. she acts like she hardly knows me yet during the winter she treated me like i was her daughter! i know she is upset with the family we work for because they seriously cut down her hours, but since that happened she has been down right cold to me. 

just today there was a cutting board on the table and she told me to put it away. i got up and did it with out saying but she started ranting that it was my job to clean up after myself and i said conversationally, whilst i was doing exactly what she asked me to do, that nicole had left it their. she repeated it was my job to clean up breakfast and now i was ticked off so i replied that i was in charge of cleaning up after the children's breakfast, which is perfectly true. i'm the au pair and she is the housekeeper -- which of us d'you think is responsible for cleaning up after the mother and father?!

i absolutely wouldn't mind either if she just asked with even a hint of the warmth she used to. i used to do all kinds of things for her with a smile on my face (i still do in fact, she has no problem leaving all the laundry at the bottom of the stairs without even asking me to haul it all up two flights of stairs) but it is much harder for me to do favors when she is so cold. almost everyone i've spoken to has warned me about her though. i'm just sad that it looks like our relationship is ending on such a sour note. 

i truly can't wait to not live in this house anymore. i am going to miss max and mike but it is very uncomfortable for to me to live with people who so obviously view me as an employee. many of my friends who are au pairs are much closer with their families, but i feel very uncomfortable around mind (the exception, of course, being the children).

well, here i am blogging again, and therefore complaining. this blog is really just a forum for me to whine. 

german class is over.

i want to take a moment to reflect on learning german. 

my class ended this past thursday and i have to that i really am satisfied with how much i know. before i got here i was convinced i could become fluent in one year, and while i think it is possible with many languages and even with german it was not possible for me. considering i never spoke german outside of my class save for a few phone calls or quick store interactions and a conversation here and there with the housekeeper i really know tons! i understand i would say 60 percent of the spoken language, but most everyday happenings i understand 95-100 percent of everything said. its just when i get into television aimed at anyone older than 14 i sometimes get confused!

with reading im even better! even when sometimes isn't immediately clear after a few rereads i am always able to work more and more out without ever reaching for my dictionary. ive read first harry potter book and am now working my way through feuchtgebiete, which is like legit. i felt like i was cheating with harry potter because id read in english so many times, but i feel just at ease reading this book which as of yet does not even exist in english. 

speaking. sigh, this is the real hurtle for me. i am still very embarrassed to speak german with native speakers. i trip and mumble and blunder and usually give up halfway through and beg for them to speak english with me. BUT on the few occassions when this hasnt been possible after a few minutes ive seen my fears get left behind and i stop thinking about grammar so much and i really CAN do it. sure there are mistakes and i need to search for words and i need to use some funny phrasings but its getting there! of course my opportunities to speak german are going to seriously dwindle once i leave, but hey, thats what the internet is for, right?

i just really want to keep working hard with my german. i dont want to forget anything and i want to go back to columbia next year even stronger than i am right now. 

 

once i began learning german with earnest my realistic goal was to learn enough to be able to take the 300 level once i got back to school. and i really think i am there!

EVERYONE LISTEN.

so. after living for about 8 months with no main source of light in my bedroom i finally stacked a chair on top of table and risked my neck to get a new light bulb in my light fixture. i forgot how pink it was. it's kind of psychedelic.

i cannot get an acceptable picture with le macbook so you will just have to take my word for it. 

i should sleep but im feeling giddy. im excited for paula to get here and to travel. im excited to go home and hang out with my cooky family for a few weeks. im excited to get my very first apartment. im excited to decorate that apartment. from here, everything is looking shiny and fun.

i have big plans for when i get home and i need to promise myself right now to follow through. 

pinky swear.

back?

wow, having a busted computer really puts a damper on the whole blogging thing. i was going to give it up for good but then my advisor sent me an email reminding me that if im not going to come back to school i should at least be blogging about my non scholarly misadventures. 

which brings me to my first point:

i am  not going back to school next year.

i am going to be working with city year new york. you can read all about it here. i think it's a good idea and i think it will really help me get my head sorted once and for all about the whole future thing. except that i just watched three seasons of house in a little over a week and now i want to be a doctor. so maybe it's not as simple as all that, but either way i think it is a good opportunity. 

i do miss school though. i get my fill now with 16 hours per week of german class but there are no grades, no papers, no reading assignments and im starting to miss that kind of stuff. its been years since ive gotten a good grade on something and i am really starting to miss it. i think this is good. when i go back to columbia maybe ill finally have learned not to waste the precious opportunity that attending that fine institution of higher learning is supposed to be. 

nitschkes & co. are in egypt so i have free reign of the computer. its deliciously sunny though so hopefully i wont be spending all my time at this desk typing away at my sad little attempt at blogging that is apparently going to secure me a job in the future (that is, according to my rather loony academic advisor).

tomorrow i turn 21. i dont know how i feel about it. maybe ill blog about it later. 

Finally finished Twilight...

...and while I still think the book as a terrible overall message and the plot isn't innovative by any means and if one more person compares it to Harry Potter I'll snap there neck, but all that aside, I kind of really liked the last book! Her writing, while still mediocre, actually did improve tons (I laughed out loud at least every few chapters) and I don't know, it must have been alright as I read all 750 pages of it in like 6 hours. I think it was mostly due to the fact that a good chunk of the book is from Jacob's perspective and he is by far the most interesting character in the series. He was very funny and I really enjoyed his bickering with Rosalie.

...

ENOUGH PRAISE. I'M DONE.

TO DO LISTS.

I haven't made a to do list in like 2 years. I am just not that kind of person anymore, which is crazy because to do lists were kind of what got me through life a little bit. I am making one now because yelling at myself about the reading thing on my blog really worked out for me as I am actually ahead of schedule for book reading this week! So, let's give a try:

1. Locate the library, attempt to register. I am so lazy about studying my German and I have decided it is because I have absolutely no where to study. Ok, there is an office with a desk about 3 feet from my room but it is SO. COLD. I simply can't study in there. Everywhere in the house I would feel weird spreading all my books and things and kind of taking over, plus I find libraries very motivating.

2. Go to the gym. I need to get back in the habit with this, I've gotten very lazy.

3. Buy shampoo and hand lotion!

4. Finish Brave New World.

5. Purchase my next German text book (hooray for being on level A2!) and Breaking Dawn.

That is all!

Things To Do Before I Die

Have an argument with someone in another language: CHECK.

TRIUMPH.

5 months, 21 Days and like 5 hours.

Max: "Okay, you are like the best Au Pair we've ever had."

Mike: "Yeah, you and Kelsi. I mean Crystal. Actually, no you. You never gave me a time out."

SUCCESS.

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I want to leave it at that but I am going to bore you with details, because I am particularly jubilant. They have said I am the best Au Pair before but it was usually in the context of them wanting something, this was totally out of the blue. We were just chatting at dinner and suddenly Max stopped the conversation to announce 100 percent sincerely that I was his favorite Au Pair. I WIN.

It was kind of bittersweet, though, because now that I'm through the halfway mark and they have their next Au Pair and the date I'm leaving is getting more and more definite I can just feel the end looming. I'm such a weirdo but these two kids were my favorite part of coming here. I hope they come and visit me.

Sigh, I am feeling emotionally raw right now. I love it here, yet I am feeling anxious for home. Blahblah blah blahblahblah BLAH. I need to conclude this as my thoughts are just going all over the place. This was supposed to be a happy entry!

Goodbye!

Argh!

I am so behind on my 100 books mission. I think I'd need to read 3 books a week to finish on time. That, in my head, is doable but considering I wasn't able to keep up with two a week, going for three week will probably prove impossible. I'm going to give it a shot though. I figure it would help if I chose the three books in advance, otherwise I can't make up my mind and end up getting 50 pages into a million (like I am right now) and that just isn't helpful at all.

So, this week I need to:

finish Brave New World

finish Life of Pi

buy and read Breaking Dawn so I can finally be DONE with this god awful series!

I know I should just STOP with the Twilight series but, ugh, I guess I've already invested 1500 pages and I do thoroughly enjoy mocking people who like it and being able to support my mockery with quotes of purple prose and enormous plot holes. IT'S SO BAD THOUGH. I am probably dumber for having read it.

dodoodododo BANANA BREAD!

A week of belly laughs, delicious food, and cuddles. I am so happy/sad right now. I am going to play guitar hero to ease the pain...

why, hello again!

So, it has been ages since I last posted. I tried to think of a reason but I couldn't really find anything other than the fact that my life has been really low key lately and I guess just a low key lifestyle does not a good blog make. A good blog post requires either crazy awesomeness or ranty worthy badness. I still don't have either of those two things, but I am still going to attempt a post and therefore you must suffer through my drivel. 

Christmas is coming and I am actually excited. I still have no idea what I am going to do but there are many offers on the table, which is nice. Really the most exciting part is Maria and Melissa. I can't believe it has been five months since I have seen either of them. All I can think about is how much I am going to laugh those eight or whatever days they are here. No one can make me crack up like those two and it is going to feel amazing to be able to just bask in it for a full week. 

In other news, Germany is unbearably  cold. I am not the type of person that gets cold easily, not at ALL. In fact, I am the exact opposite. I am always always always too warm when I sleep. It's like when people flip over the pillow to get to the cool side of the pillow, except I need a whole new fresh bed. At home I sleep in a minimum of two different beds per night, but here I am just NEVER warm. I don't think it's so much that Germany is colder degrees wise, but the house is wayyy older and the heating system is not as good. It's kind of nice though because I think because I am cold all the time I haven't put on any weight even though Christmas in Germany=a shit ton of delicious cakes, waffles, and cookies. Not to mention my Adventskalendar and then Nikolaus where I got tonnnnns of chocolate. Oh, yeah, and Gluhwein. 

I had a friend from college who always went on about Christmas in Germany and I always thought to myself "how different could it possibly be?!?" but she was totally right. It's totally lovely. The food is of course an amazing aspect but then their are the Christmas markets which are adorable and sooo fun. There are tons of gorgeous lights and it all just looks so much adorable on Germany's tiny little streets (even if they are terrifying to drive on).

i hate money.

i am feeling so stressed out right now and it is all because of money. it is even more ridiculous because at the moment i have more in my bank account than i ever have had before and it just isn't enough. i have to get christmas presents, have enough money to travel when maria and melissa are here and  i also need to sign up for my next level of german courses. that last one costs 700 euro alone. that is actually a great price considering it is 16 hours a week and four months but gah you have to pay cash in full and you need to sign up considerably in advance. the website says the class is almost full and it doesnt start until march. if i could pay in march that would be great as it would give me plenty of time to save up post christmas destitution but of course it needs to be paid to reserve my spot. i think i'll head over to the school monday or so and see how full they consider almost full and see if they can give me an estimation of when they think it will fill up for good. i remember when i signed up for this class it was yellow for quite a while before it got completely full. it's just german is SO important to me, it's why i came here. to learn the language, and i really can't do it without the classes. they guarantee me 16 hours of complete and total immersion every week and i neeeeeeed that to get better. i'm like hyperventilating right now. you can probably tell as there is nary a paragraph break nor a capital letter in sight. 

GR.

maybe if i write a budget here i will feel better.

my current account balance is around 650 euros. let's say i set aside 200 for christmas gifts. that leaves me with 450. ill get paid 500 euroes on jan 1st which is good because it will rejuice me mid travels. so that brings me to 950 euros, 700 of which needs to be reserved for my class. so 250 for traveling. aka, not enough. its actually super not enough because not is 250 euros not going to cover the traveling but it would leave me penniless for all of january. i need at least 25 euro to get through the month at the very least. it would be a sparse month but since my food and everything is paid for i would just need that for odds and ends here and there.

SIGH. i cant think about this anymore.

goodnight.

I CAVED.

So, I read Twilight.

I was falling massively behind on my reading list so I needed a book I knew I could get through in one sitting and I knew I could totally do that with Twilight.

These are my thoughts:

The characters are laughable. Stephanie Meyer either makes them insanely perfect, or something that bothers me even more, she deliberately gives them absolutely meaningless flaws. They are flaws that merely exist to make it more difficult for people to call her out on her terrible and uninteresting characterizations. Well, more difficult for a 12 year old anyway. 

The magic is also laughable. It's every single Vampire stereotype wrapped into one. Oh, no, correction, it's every GOOD vampire stereotype wrapped into one. Her vampires are strong, beautiful, intelligent and immortal. However, the sun doesn't burn them it makes them SPARKLE. Perhaps you think my summary is making it sound more juvenile than it actually is. Nope. Wrong. The vampires are so shiny they sparkle in sunlight. 

I pretty much have all the same exact criticisms for the book that everyone else does. I just find it totally hilarious that people who love this book most of the time love it for it's "great" romance. That is fucking hilarious. The book has the most ridiculously warped depiction of romance I have ever seen. The characters fall in love with one another before they have even spoken one word to one another. In fact, Bella falls in love with Edward whilst under the impression that he wishes her dead. They both have non existent personalities outside of the fact they love each other and every depiction of their "love" is a much clearer depiction of lust than anything else. And you know what? That is fine with me, books about lust can be great but it drives me insane that this book is parading around as the paragon of the ultimate romance when really it's nothing more than a 500 page exercise in unresolved sexual tension. 

In conclusion, everything about the book was 100 percent predictable and the writing was at times gag inducing.

I started New Moon yesterday.

kill me.

So, Thanksgiving went okay. I spent all day shopping and defrosting and prepping and then it was time to put the turkey in and WHATTAYAKNOW I have no fucking clue where the roasting pan is. But, like, I had already put so much effort in that I wasn't gonna waste it so I boiled it, haha. It was pretty plain tasting, but juicy and the boys loved it. The sweet potatoes came out PERFECTLY, but Max wasn't so into them. Mike predictably loved the marshmallows and ate a few spoonfuls of the actual potato part but was otherwise uninterested. We tried to find the wishbone at the end of it all but none of us could stomach looking at the inside of the turkey so we gave up.

It actually went fairly well and I would be more enthused but I am cranky. Right now, Germany can go fuck itself. I hate driving here so much, it stresses me like you can't even imagine. The streets are too tiny, there is no where to park and really the most annoying thing of all is that there are nine trillion rules you need to remember. Everyone else knows them because in Germany there is some pretty rigorous driving school required before you get your license, but for someone like me who is used to having signs letting me know when to stop and when I have the right of way and constant reminders of what the speed limit is, always being expected to know but no one ever telling you CAN GET REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING.

For example, there are no speed limit signs in Germany. They only have speed limit signs when you are entering 30kmph zones (in neighborhoods) and for like EXCEPTIONS. Otherwise, I'm guessing, you learn in driving school what speed limits are where. Or, in my case, you learn by getting a TICKET. FOR DRIVING 37 MPH (61 kmph). ON A MAIN ROAD. The speed limit on this road is apparently 50 kmph and just sjkdklehnrjkl gerklgner I want to kill someone right now. There are so many things about this road that would lead anyone to believe the speed limit is higher than that and I just can't FUCKING believe I have to pay 25 euros, and yeah that's shit, but this is just ANOTHER way in which I've fucked up. It sure looks great when the person you pay to drive your children around GETS A SPEEDING TICKET. DJSABNADLKJGKEJGNGJDFBGAKJBFDHJB DFHJB FBJBNERKJHBGHJREBHEBGHJGBERBGSJFGNJ

KGNJKFNBKALNFABIMREALLYUPSETRIGHTNOW.

Just one day late...

I am currently in the process of making my very first Thanksgiving dinner. Even though it's a modified version, it's still ambitious and I am very nervous. I bought a four pound baby turkey which I am currently defrosting using the cold water in the kitchen sink method. It should only take two hours and then the turkey itself should take just about two hours to cook. I roasted a chicken once before and it came out decent so I have my fingers crossed for this baby. Max loves turkey and is really excited so I don't want to disappoint.

I am also making sweet potatoes and corn. Let me tell you that it was a BITCH to find sweet potatoes. Of course, today I also had the obstacle of no car because mine is at the dealer getting winter tires put on so I needed to go to about a million super markets by bus, which is fine, but then I needed to get everything home, which was decidedly more difficult. In the end I went to three different super markets and only Real had sweet potatoes and they are...different. They were marked "Israeli Sußkartoffeln" which translates to Israeli sweet potatoes so, yeah, fingers crossed they taste good. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find sweet potatoes at all because after I went through the potato section of Real I found nothing but they were actually in the imports section. They probably only had 10 potatoes total (but they were sizeable), I bought three and it cost FIVE euro. I think the potatoes cost more than the turkey.

Sigh, hopefully I will be updating later today to let everyone know how FANTASTICALLY it all went.

Wish me luck!